Thursday, October 1, 2009

State of Miley - What has become of Hannah Montana?

Role Model for young girls?  This video doesn't eve make sense...

I will start by expressing my deep love for Miley's new hit single "Party in the USA."  Rarely does such pop glory come along, only every once in a while does such pop goodness come.  We're talking "Dancin' on the Ceiling" (Lionel Ritchie) and "Party all the Time" (Eddie Murphy, yes, that Eddie Murphy) pop goodness.  So we should all count our blessings that we are alive in this great time to experience such a song.

That being said, I am curious about who brainstormed the idea for the video "Party in the USA."  Generally, I feel what makes videos great are thier visualization of the words being sung by the artist.  After watching the video, I am still waiting for said visualization of these glorious pop lyrics. 

Let's start from the beginning.  The starts randomly enough, as if Ms. Cyrus is telling a story, about her arrival to LA.  She "hops off the plane at LAX with her dreams an a cardigan."  This is where the video starts, if I were directing this video I would think that I would start it out in an airport...perhaps even in LAX...but alas, that does not seem to be what they thought.  No, no, this video takes place in a trailer park/drive in movie theater in a desert where random people are just hanging out in trunks of cars and doing flips off the back of old pick ups.  This in no way resembles LA, with the possible exception of the people in the trunks of cars.  I don't even think a plane could land here...

Further, Miley talks of getting off the plane with her "dreams and a cardigan."  Those that know me will tell you that I have been "fashinally challenged" from time to time in my life, so I am by no means an expert.  However, I noticed no cardigan on Ms. Cyrus, nor did I get any feeling of the "dreams" she took with her.  Further, why would she bring a cardigan to LA, isn't it like 90 degrees there year round?  A cardigan would just be a dumb idea...

As "dreams" are in intangible object I will give Miley a pass on this one, however, if I was directing I would choose to signify these dreams as her staring longingly into the distance...perhaps at the Hollywood sign.  But no, according to this video we are to believe her dream is to come to LA to go to a deserted drive in/trailer park where other scantily clad females dance and people do side flips as she sings into a microphone that can't possibly be plugged in anywhere.  I can only hope my future daughter aspires to such grand dreams.

Next, Miley continues her storyline saying she "hops in the taxi cab."  Did I miss this part?  There is no taxi cab in this video.  Not even a beaten up one she could suggestively dance on top of.  Again, this seams like poor planning.  How am I supposed to buy into Miley's storyline if there is no actual cab she is getting into, now they are just making it hard for me as a viewer to get emotionally drawn into this video....really difficult...seriously...I am not invested at all...

Her very next line Miley talks about looking "to her right and I see the Hollywood sign."  For those who know me, my eyesight is not the greatest, but I was sure to wear my contacts watching this video and no Hollywood sign was to be seen.  To the right, the left, the front or the back.  Disconcerting, she even points to the right in the video as if we are to believe Miley sees the actual sign, only we cannot.  Is it really that hard to photoshop the Hollywood sign into the background for one scene?  I wouldnt think so, I was able to put it in my blog no problem(See picture above).  This leads me to believe she was not actually in Hollywood for the filming of this video...tricky Miley.

She also talks about how "this is all so crazy" and "everybody seems so famous."  The only famous person I see in this video is you Miley.  During this line in the video she points to someone who is grilling burgers outside their trailer in mirror aviators, is this person famous?  Is that Matthew McCaugnahay outside his gulf stream trailer doing push ups and chewing tobacco?  No...false alarm, Miley has led us astray again, this person is not famous (if I stand corrected please let me know who this seemingly famous person is in the comments).

This leads us into the chorus of the song where Miley talks about her "tummy turnin' and I'm feelin' kina nervious."  Perhaps it is just me, but Miley only seems to become more confortable with herself throughout this entire video.  No scenes of Miley grabbing her stomach as if it is "turnin,'" and definitely no scenes of Miley running to the bathroom as this nervous-ness wreaks havoc on her GI tract.  Where would she even go to the bathroom, there are none of those in the video either.  Perhaps behind a bush or in the trunk of a wait, people hang out there.  Some sign of her nervous-ness would have added to the realism of the video and drawn me in a bit, perhaps her swigging a glass of alka seltzer..pop, pop, fizz, fi-nevermind.  Moving on.

In the chorus she talks of this "taxi man" and how he "turns the radio on and the Jay-Z song was on."  We have already discussed the no taxi cab in the song so that point need not be belabored further.  On top of that, with no taxi cab, means no "taxi man."  Who is turning on this radio that you are hearing Miley?  And if you are from Nashville (the land of country music) why is a Jay-Z song "your song?"  Shouldn't it be a Willie Nelson song or Reba McIntyre, I would even take Darius Rucker.  I guess I underestimated how popular Jay-Z is in Nashville these days.

Next comes what could be my favorite part, Miley decides to take the speaker off of one of the Drive In speaker stands and hops into the back of an old beat up pickup truck.  What're you gonna do with that speaker Miley?  There isn't even a movie playi-oh wait, wait, that is a microphone, my fault everyone, she is actually holding a microphone.  Yeah, this definitely makes much more sense in the context of the video (everyone will turn a blind eye to the question of how a microphone magically appeared in the desert in place of this speaker).

For her next verse, Miley talks about getting "to the club in my taxi cab, everbody's lookin' at me now."  WHERE IS THIS FLIPPIN' TAXI CAB?!?!  Miley has this magical taxi cab that takes her anywhere her underage heart desires, including a club which I am sure routinely allows 16 year olds in, and we don't even get to see it.  Disappointing.  But I digress.  Miley seems concerned at this point because when she gets out of this taxi cab "everybody's lookin' at me now."  This could even happen in the video, except this is the first point where it switches to scene where it is just her by herself in front of a wall.  An entire trailer park/drive-in theater's worth of people could be staring at her, but they choose to switch to this scene at this specific lyric.  Not only that, but she is supposed to convey a sense of self-consicousness as everybody is looking at her, but she poses suggestively and gives a look of complete confidence as all these people stare and judge her.  Now she is just trying to do the exact opposite of what her lyrics are saying.  This is the point of the video where I feel like Miley just reaches out and slaps me across the face.

Next she talks about how everyone is "like who's that chick who's rockin' kicks, she must be from out of town."  Now, defines the slang term kicks as "shoes," "shoes, footwear," and "new shoes that are ill."  All of these definitions are pretty vague and in the general sense everybody at the club she is at would be wearing "kicks," by this definition, and therefore her shoes would not be weird, it would only be weird if she was not wearing any "kicks" at all, but this is not the case.  What has come to be common place with the meaning of "kicks" in a slang sense would be that they represent tennis shoes.  Ms. Cyrus is not wearing tennis shoes in this video.  However, she points to her shoes in the video as if she is when, in fact, what she is wearing is in stark contrast to tennis shoes...cowboy boots, which in very rare situations would be considered "kicks."

She continues her "woe-is-me this is so scary in a big new city" storyline by saying that it is "so hard with my girls not around me, this is definitely not a Nashville party."  However, as aforementioned, this party is taking place in a trailer park/drive in theater which, no offense to Nashville, seems more aprapot for that city than LA where I would imagine a party being at some overpriced nightclub of some sort.  Further, she has plenty of girls around her and they all seem like they are from Nashville as well as they are all wearing jeans and cowboy boots.  Matter of fact, she has a small contingent of females that follow her around the entire video.  Are these not your girls, Miley?  If not, this begs the question why are they following you around?  Why are you letting them follow you and dance to your song?  Shouldn't you have security escort these stalker girls away from you?  You clearly need to go to the Pac-Man Jones "School for learning the importance of having a S.E.C.U.R.I.T.Y entourage with you at all times."

She follows this up by saying "all I see are stilettos, I guess I didn't get the memo."  Apparently, neither did ANYBODY ELSE IN THE VIDEO.  Again, not a fashion expert, but I did not see a single stiletto in the entire video, rather, in stark contrast, I saw only cowboy boots, which should make Ms. Miley more comfortable, yet her tummy is still turning as she is feeling nervous, although you couldnt tell by her calm face and borderline inappropriate dance moves.

Next, comes the Britney song that is played in the club that makes the "butterflies fly away."  I am curious what Britney song would comfort young Miley so much.  This is no doubt a homage to how Miley is the same age Britney was when she was exploited in a video at 16.  I am sure Miley's adult life will be much more normal than Britney's...positive...really, Miley seems to be in a much better place...and she has a great role model like her father...forget it, she's fucked.

What have we learned from this video?

We have learned a few things:  Miley has seemingly left her Disney days behind her, Miley is trying to increase her sex appeal as she gets older so she can one day...who knows why, Miley is not concerned with the artistic integrity involved in visualizing words through the artistic art form of music video, Miley will pole dance if necessary to promote herself and set a good example for her legions of 12 year old fans, the only question at this point is will she reach Lindsay Lohan territory or will she be salvageable a la Britney Spears?  Only time will tell and it should be fun to watch it all go down.


  1. THANK YOU! I was also extremely disappointed in the video. After hearing and dancing to the song several times...I too had a “vision” in my head of the video somewhat like yours. And the thing is, if Miley wanted to be all crazy and sexy in the video, she could have achieved that and had a kick ass video at the same time. Now she just has an awful video, but I guess she does look good….
    Sadly… I like this version better

  2. oh yeah, and she also grabs her stomach as she is feeling nervous